It can be far too easy to mistrust God. Not because we don’t know who He is or what He’s capable of, but because we forget He’s not like us.
Our human nature is inherently fickle. Our selfish tendencies cause us to change our minds and change our actions depending on what we feel is best for us in a given moment. Thank God He’s not like that! Our God is faithful and unwavering. His Word is true and He cannot, will not go back on it. Malachi 3:6 says, “For I am the Lord, I change not.”
I recently had this revelation (again) myself. My Type A personality often gets the best of me, sending me into a flurry of planning and figuring out and frustration when things aren’t coming together as I’d like. Trying to be a good wife, build a business, devote myself to ministry, and take care of myself are all individually daunting tasks that become even more overwhelming when taken on simultaneously.
Talking to my mom the other day (thank God for her!), I expressed how I was frustrated with myself because I knew things weren’t quite taking off yet because of me. It’s been years of laying the foundation for our business and trying to build it up to a place of finally seeing some return, but it just hasn’t quite gotten where I want it to yet. And for someone with astronomical expectations like me, it’s maddening. God has given me the vision and I’ve been diligently striving to implement it, but I was at a point where I knew God was still waiting for me to pass a test in order to get the breakthrough I’ve been waiting for… Except I didn’t know exactly what the test was or how to pass it.
Mommy told me that she didn’t know the answer, but that I should focus on simply being content where I am and joyfully expectant, knowing God will show up and and work everything out in a fashion more perfect that I could ever imagine. As soon as she said it, I knew that was the answer. I’ve struggled to remain hopefully optimistic when I feel like nothing’s working out or I’m not getting anywhere. Often it’s easier to revert into DIY mode, trying to make it happen all on our own than trusting God to work it our for us like He promised He would. She encouraged me to shift my focus from figuring out if God was going to do what I needed, to when He would do it. I told her I felt a loooooooong way off from being able to earnestly do that, but that I’d try. I hung up the phone and immediately prayed.
Sometimes helpless prayers are the most impactful ones. In that moment, I simply told God the truth: I knew I had a long way to go, but I wanted more than anything to be able to trust Him wholeheartedly. He’s never failed me, and in my heart I know He never will. But I felt immeasurably far from the point of being able to be joyfully expectant of what He was already doing for me, and being content where I am in the meantime. After that prayer, I went to sleep not really thinking much of what would happen next.
I woke up the next morning with the most peace and confidence I think I’ve ever had in God–and didn’t even realize it! It wasn’t until much later in the day when Anthony and I were discussing our house hunting game plan (yeah, that too!) that I realized I wasn’t anxious about it (or anything else) anymore. I just had this supreme confidence that God was going to lead us to the perfect thing and that it would all work out better than we could dream it. Where God is taking us is where we’re going, and nothing will get in the way of that as long as we stay focused on following Him.
It’s the best feeling in the world! I’m learning to activate the best of my Type A traits to be diligent in following through with what God has shown me to do without letting the perfectionism, anxiety, or frustration with uncertainty drag me down.
If you need God to transform your outlook and restore your confidence that He WILL come through for you, I encourage you to pray a helpless prayer today. Remind yourself what God told you, and realize it’s not a matter of if, but when. And then get excited about how He’s going to blow your mind to do it! Because He will. He always does.